The Root of the Matter

73. Values Over Resolutions: How Alignment Creates Lasting Health and Energy

• Dr. Rachaele Carver, D.M.D. Board-Certified, Biologic, Naturopathic Dentist • Season 4 • Episode 73

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After a brief pause at the end of the year, Dr. Rachaele Carver returns with a powerful solo episode to open 2026, inviting listeners to rethink the way we approach change, healing, and personal growth.

Instead of setting New Year’s resolutions that often fade by February, this episode explores a deeper and more sustainable framework: living in alignment with your values.

Dr. Carver unpacks why so many goals fail when they are driven by “shoulds” rather than meaning, and how shifting toward values-based living can transform not only oral health, but energy, confidence, relationships, and overall well-being.

This conversation blends personal stories, clinical insight, and reflective questions to help listeners begin the year with clarity, compassion, and intention.

In this episode, Dr. Carver discusses:

  • Why traditional New Year’s resolutions rarely stick
  • The difference between goals and values, and why values matter more
  • How living out of alignment drains energy and fuels burnout
  • The connection between values, nervous system regulation, and health
  • How thoughts become beliefs, and beliefs shape reality
  • Parenting, anxiety, and helping children live in their own values
  • Recognizing physical and emotional signals from the body as guidance
  • Questions to help identify your core values
  • Signs you may be living out of alignment
  • How values-based living improves decision-making, boundaries, and fulfillment
  • Why integrity and empowered teaching are central themes in Dr. Carver’s life and practice
  • Setting intentions for the year ahead through alignment rather than pressure

Resources mentioned:

Closing reflection:

Healing doesn’t come from pushing harder or chasing outcomes. It comes from slowing down, listening deeply, and allowing our actions to flow from what truly matters.

When we live in our values, the body responds.
 And everything we want begins to unfold naturally.

Thank you for being part of The Root of the Matter.
Here’s to a grounded, aligned, and nourishing year ahead. 🌿

Connect with Dr. Carver

Join the 6-Week Gum Disease Course: https://reversegumdiseaseinsixweeks.info/optinpage

Book Your Personalized Consultation: https://calendly.com/drcarver-1/health-coaching-consult?month=2025-10



Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only. Information discussed is not intended for diagnosis, curing, or prevention of any disease and is not intended to replace advice given by a licensed healthcare practitioner. Before using any products mentioned or attempting methods discussed, please speak with a licensed healthcare provider. This podcast disclaims responsibility from any possible adverse reactions associated with products or methods discussed. Opinions from guests are their own, and this podcast does not condone or endorse opinions made by guests. We do not provide guarantees about the guests' qualifications or credibility. This podcast and its guests may have direct or indirect financial interests associated with products mentioned.

Dr. Rachaele Carver :

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to the root of the matter. I am your host, Dr. Rachel Carver. And after a little respite at the end of 2025, I am back and excited for a brand new year of new topics, of expanding on old topics, and anything we can do to make 2026 one of your best years yet. Welcome, everybody. What I wanted to start out as my first episode of the year was talking about New Year's resolutions, right? So many of us make them, and yet by February, we've all just about given up on them. I was looking up the statistics, and apparently it says 30% of us will make resolutions, yet only 9% of us actually achieve that goal. So why is that? And I think so much of us as humans is we focus too much on the should. I should be healthier, right? I should eat better, I should exercise more. The majority of resolutions are around diet and nutrition. And it feels like, okay, it's a new year, it's new me, let's start out. Yet what happens? We living in this should type of mentality is not aligned with our true values. So instead of resolutions this January, I want us to think about what our values are and what even what isn't a value, right? And so we're gonna talk a little bit about that today on this shorter podcast. And the next podcast will also be a short and soul one where we talk about okay, now that we understand our values, how are we gonna use that at each pillar of health? So for this episode, let's talk about values. This is something that I heard about many years ago doing coaching for dentistry and then through personal development. And maybe when I first learned this 10 years ago, I didn't really understand, you know, what it meant. What are my values? Honesty, integrity is very important to me. I want to do what I say. I don't want to be on this soapbox looking good, right, for the cameras or community. I actually want to do good. I want to stand in what I believe in, even and especially when it's hard. So during the pandemic, that was a challenge, but I stood by what I believed and what my integrity, and I think everything turned out really well. And that was something that I really wanted to teach my kids. And again, because I stood in that value of integrity, that I was able to push through all of the difficulties and adversity that I faced. So other values could be my top value, which I've worked really hard with. Two of my favorite people in the world are the uh team behind Integrative You, Nicole Rivera and Nick. And they have helped me really develop this understanding of how to align with your values so that everything that you want just naturally happens, right? So that's what we want to do. When we can discover, and maybe it's one value, maybe it's two or three values. Again, that very first value, when we live in an alignment, we don't have to work so hard at what we want to achieve, right? We got to forget about pursuing the goal and just living in our values because everything that we want can happen, can come to fruition when we live in those values. If we're living in that state, I want this to happen, right? I want to have a healthier mouse, I want to not have to go to the dentist so much. I don't, I want to avoid all of those costly and evasive procedures, then you're constantly in that state of wanting. And if you're always in a state of wanting, you're never going to achieve. Whereas if you are living in that value of health, of healthy oral mouth, then your everything that you decide to do, all of your actions in those values are going to allow for you to have that healthy mouth and avoid the constantly dental procedures. So let's stop chasing the goal, okay? Let's stop thinking about in in the United States, we're goal-driven, goal-oriented. It's all about achievement, right? So many of us grew up like my parents, I'm never going to be fully accepted or loved unless I achieve something. And that's a hard thing to break. I know for myself, that was how I grew up, and looking at my children. If they're not doing well in school or they're not participating in a million things, like to me, it's like they're not trying to achieve. And so I've had to learn, you know, thinking about my value, my top value is empowered teaching. That's why I absolutely love doing this podcast because I want to empower people to take their health into their own hands to know they have complete control over every outcome, and especially when we live in our values. So, one of the things the really important tenets that I live by is that thoughts become beliefs and beliefs become reality. So, this is where I have work. You guys have heard me talk about my oldest daughter and her anxiety. And this is where I get stressed out sometimes with her because her such of her negative thoughts create her beliefs, which creates that more of that anxiety. And I am always trying to try to help her change her filter, right? Change that thought pattern. And for her top value is confidence. So when she feels confident in something, she can excel, she can do some mighty things, and that's really exciting as a parent. So I'm always looking for that opportunities where she's going to feel that confidence, and then her life's just gonna take off. It's challenging with teenagers this day these days with social media and everything. But again, that's where I try to focus with her. My husband and I just the other night watched that uh movie, King Richard, right, about Venus and Cerulean's dad, and it really drove home for me. He believed 110% that his kids were going to be stars, that they were gonna be millionaires. And that belief trickled down into the kids. And again, it's a movie, so I don't know how much of it is fictionalized, but at the point where those girls, as teenagers, believed they could be number one. They believed they could be any opponent, and that became reality. So that I want people to kind of take that away. And this is not about positive the the toxicity, they call it. It's really thinking about just coming into your own and thinking about the thoughts that you're having. Oh, I'm so exhausted. I'm never gonna do X, Y, Z. Own that exhaustion. I am tired. But if my highest value is teaching, all right, what can I do? What action can I take that's gonna live in that value? And then I won't have that fatigue. I can't tell you how many times I have been physically tired at the end of a long day, and I have to go give a talk. And the moment I walk on that stage, it is like I'm a whole new person. My energy surges, I just I feel so vibrant. It's amazing because I'm living in my values and I believe that in what I'm saying and what I'm doing and how I'm helping. And it's just it's it's happened to me so many times, and yet it's still amazing to me. So think about that. I know, like for me, at age 12, I had decided I wanted to be a doctor. I had this wonderful class in the seventh grade, and we dissec all sorts of things, and I was just I was fascinated. And at the time I thought I was gonna be a general surgeon. I loved the digestive system, and I just I thought that whole thing was fascinating. And so I said, you know what? By the time I'm 25, I'm gonna be a doctor. And I believed that. And when I was 25, I graduated from guns, and I didn't know obviously that I was gonna be a dentist. I didn't know how I was gonna get there, but I believed that was going to happen. And sure, it wasn't an easy road, but it was relatively easy without too many obstacles, and boom. But then at 25, I was like, oh shoot, now what the what's gonna happen the next 75 years of my life? So that's then exciting to explore. But I want you to really think about that. Thoughts become beliefs, beliefs become reality. So, how can we make 2026 our best year yet? I've listened to a lot of podcasts. I love it. That's how I really love learning these days. And one of my favorite podcasts is called Energize by Dr. Marisa, and it's geared towards women in the kind of peri-menopause stage of life. But she, at the end of her year, she talked about little questions. And I think this goes along with the whole idea of values. We're gonna get to how we discover our values. I'm gonna give you guys some resources to try to figure that out. But some of the questions that I saw was really important, and I can link to her episode where she goes through these. She had 12 questions. I'm gonna go through some of them that were most relevant for me. So, for her, number one question what was her your biggest wins in 2025? So thinking about that, what were my biggest wins? What made me feel empowered and happy and vibrant? Because that's also gonna be a clue of what your highest value would be. What do you want to experience more of? Again, I love teaching. I love doing this podcast. So what do I want to do? I want to experience more of this, right? Because again, that empowered teaching is one of my values. So, what am I gonna do? I'm going to reach out to more people, different subjects. I'm going to stack my podcast with interesting people and interesting topics. One I really liked was when was the last time you truly felt at peace? And I'm like, so many of us, a lot of us moms, right? We're juggling 8 million different jobs. And it's hard to really feel like you ever have time. At the end of the year, one of the reasons I took a little respite is I came down with a really nasty flu. I was in bed for three days. I have not been that sick in my husband. Never remember. We've been married 18 years. He never remembers me being out like that. In the 16 years of having my dental practice, I've missed four days of work for sickness. Three of them were the stomach bug, and then one with this flu or whatever it was. And so three days doesn't sound like a lot, but then I felt very tired. Like it took me a while to really recover from that. And to me, that was a universe saying, slow down, take a rest, let's restore, let's, you know, let's end the year nicely, and then let's come back in 2026 really strong. So remember these clues that are coming from our body, really listen to them. It's okay to rest and relax a little bit. And so it all of that rest. And was that did I feel peaceful? Not really, because I felt, oh my gosh, I missed a day of work. I let all those patients down. Oh, I have I'm missing a podcast recording, all these things. So when I think about peace, my favorite time was actually from 2024, but with my two friends from Integrative You, they had a wonderful retreat. And it was me and two other women went to Italy and had this amazing week where we worked on our values and meditation in the morning. And then in the afternoon, we were eating the most luxurious food, drinking all sorts of wine, jumping in the Mediterranean Sea, which for me was such a departure from my real life. One, I really don't eat gluten and dairy that much, and I rarely ever drink. So, and it was amazing because I felt great. I had no issue with any of the food over there. The fact that I would I'm usually a pretty kind of buttoned-up type of person, and I stripped down to a teeny bikini, jumping off into the sea, and I just I never felt more free or at peace because I was just living, I was just experiencing life and taking the time to go inside and see who am I and what do I want to achieve? And that was it was just an absolutely amazing experience. And I think about that time all the time and can't wait to go back. But but how can I cultivate that same kind of experience? And that's why, again, the last two weeks of the year, I took that time to just be quiet and not worry too much about work and all the things that I need to accomplish. Just let me be, let me live, let me enjoy my family and the holidays. They're so fleeting, and life itself is so fleeting that I really enjoy just taking that time. What was another question, Chia? So, what habit or routine did you create that improved efficiency at home or work? Again, this is another way to think about those values. Habits are really hard to form. They say it takes at least 21 days to create a new habit and something that you're gonna stick with. So, was there something that you were able to? I know this is something I struggle with. I start things all the time and then something else takes over you. Again, it's not aligned with my current values. So it doesn't seem as important. So, was there something that you were able to create a new habit? So, again, that's gonna give you another clue of what's really important to you because you were able to sustain that change. What would you want to stop carrying into this new year? And for me, one of the big things is worrying about my kids. We've listened to the podcast, heard me talk about them, and I've met up with some high school friends and hearing all the accolades of their children and everything they're doing, and that comparing never serves anyone, right? And so to me, I was like, I want to let go of trying to make them sit in a certain box. And if my older daughter decides she doesn't want to go to college, there's so many other avenues, right? And I just I want to let go of my control over that and really focus on just loving her and supporting her. And for both of my kids, wanting them to step into their values and live their best life, right? How about where am I living from pressure instead of values? And I think a lot of teenagers can relate to this, right? They feel this pressure from their parents. And for my daughter, last year I had really forced her to play soccer. I said, Here, you love this coach, it's gonna be fantastic. And she started having panic attacks over soccer because again, she was that was not aligned with her values. She did not feel, even though she's a great player, she herself did not feel confident playing the sport. And so she had physical and mental manifestations of living outside of her values. So when we think about that, think about our friends and our family, kids all with this anxiety. There's so much, it's so prevalent today. And again, so instead of thinking of it, let's just medicate that, let's just try to do all this is let's think about how we can create this living this aligned life. And what makes you feel fulfilled? We've talked about this a little bit, like for me, doing the podcast, talking to people, teaching. Every time I meet a new patient, I love just diving into their whole lives, really understanding them as a whole person. So many, so much of conventional dentistry is open your mouth, let me see your teeth. Okay, we'll drill and fill XYZ, we'll give you a crown, root canon, blah, blah. But we're not seeing like that whole person. And that's what I really treasure about my job is having the time to listen, right? To meet the person where they're at and to help guide them, to help them live through their values. One of the questions we always ask people is what is why are you coming to the dentist? What's your main priority? And we have a couple of questions. Is it just money? You want something that's quick and affordable. That's not really a good fit for my practice, right? Because we are whole body. And if you just want that kind of efficiency, there's lots of places to go. If you're looking for whole body health and prevention, ding ding ding, for me, I'm like, okay. And again, when we ask these kind of questions to new patients, we meet them where they're at, and that creates a better, stronger relationship. Too much today. Back in the old days, right? Whatever the doctor said goes. But now we're smarter. Now we have Google and we can look up things for ourselves and we're more skeptical of certain things. Understanding where a person is coming for helps you develop that relationship as a healthcare provider so that the patient will do what is necessary. But I always tell my patients about this is a partnership, right? I'm not dictating what needs to be done. I will tell you from my experience what I see, what I would recommend, but let's make this plan together. And that's how you get good case acceptance. That's how you get people really getting healthy because one, you feel they feel like you're invested in them and they're doing what is meeting their values. So really important. What brings you energy? Like I mentioned, when I get up on stage, wow, is that energy? We went to right before Thanksgiving, took the kids down for a long weekend to Disney World. And I don't know what it is about that place, but man, I just I love it. I think it brings back so many, and my parents came with us too. So brings back those just joyous childhood memories of being a family, having warm, beautiful weather, the sun shining, like I just that that whole family unit. My kids are teenagers now, they're always doing their own thing, never around. So I just I want more of that. How do I cultivate more of that family togetherness without it feeling contrived or forced? So that's something I'm working on here, too. So those are some of the questions that I think are really interesting and to think about and will help trying to figure out what our values are. There are also some two websites that I think are really helpful and they can help you create some. One of them is called Firefly Firefly Therapy Austin.com. I just Googled this and I really liked what the website said. But in it, it talked about when you're out of alignment. So these are a few things that it said that will that lean towards you being out of alignment. So one was you're busy all day, but at night you're empty. Like you come home, you have to be on the couch, you have to have a glass of wine, you have to binge Netflix, right? That's that empty. We talk about these love substitutes, and some of my personal growth have done over the years. Like for me, I like to read a book. Just something doesn't have to be anything educational, a rom com type of novel, right? Just take me to another world, and that is my love substitute, which in one way is okay, but another way I'm substituting real connection for just reading a book, right? Could my time And life better spent having a conversation with my husband, going to sit on my daughter's beds and just ask questions. What's going on? The answer is yes. But again, sometimes at the end of the day, I feel exhausted because maybe that day I was doing so much drilling and filling, and I didn't get to use that part of that empowered teaching that it drained me a little bit. So for me, it's always trying to find that balance with every patient, every day, every interaction with every human being. How do we again live in those values? Another thing is decisions drag because all options feel wrong. And this is this is probably happens to a lot of us on a daily basis. But thinking about should I buy this new equipment for the office? And one of them was like, well, that's exciting. But then I had to think, but is that am I going to use biologic materials? Right? Is this going to be in line with the health? My practice is all about healthy living and avoiding as many toxins as possible. So I had to hem up if I have to use Wi-Fi. I don't like having Wi-Fi in my office, right? I'm trying to reduce radiation. And so again, I was trying to, I was driving the rep crazy because I was like, what are the materials? What is it made of? And nobody wanted to answer the question because he didn't even know. He's like, nobody's ever asked me that. Yeah. I want to do things that again, I want to have integrity in my practice, everything I want to have integrity. If I am living this healthy life and I am, I want to use these good materials, then I want to make sure that they are good material, that people are going to be compatible and they're not going to add to anybody's toxic burden. Another thing to answer, you're saying yes when you really mean no, which this often leads a lot to resentment, right? So again, as women, we kind of society thinks, ah, we can do it all now these days, right? And just because we can doesn't mean we should. And so this is really important. Like this is the whole idea of having boundaries, right? And again, like my daughter, she said yes to playing soccer and then had such this crazy experience, then was mad at me, right? Build up resentment because I forced her to do it. And again, she wasn't living in her values. So the whole season ended up being not a great thing for her. Another thing, work looks good on paper, but conflicts on how you want to live. So just like I was saying with the with this piece of technology I was considering, I'm like, okay, it sounds good, it's great, could make me more efficient, it would be great. I people get their devices a lot sooner. But again, is it going to be in a holistic way that's going to support that person's overall health, right? And then having any kind of tension in relationships, right? Anyone who's been married for any amount of time, you're going to experience that tension. And is it because you're believing one thing, but you're not speaking up, right? You're going against your core values of integrity or honesty, whatever it may be, right? You just want to just not have that converse, that difficult conversation. So those are a couple of examples. And again, that website will link to it was Firefly Therapy Austin.com. And again, I really I liked that idea. So when you're thinking of what the values may be, you don't have to come up with a bunch. I've really come up with at the most like three. Really, but focus on the main one. And another one that I've done in the past, and Nick Carruthers from Integrative View, he did a lot of his training with Dr. D Martini. So it's drdmartini.com slash values. Again, we'll put that in the in the show notes. It's a D-R D E M A R T-I-N-I dot com slash values. And they'll there's a bunch of different questions that they ask, and at the very end, it will show you. So if you want to just get right to it and try to get your values that way versus going through the thoughtful processes that some of these other things will do, go for it. Because again, it doesn't have to be perfect, and your values can change, right? As life changes, as situations change, your values can change, and that's fine. But understanding that value, and then when you're thinking about 2026 and what's coming forth now, when you set your goals and say you want maybe you want to achieve three different things, right? So for me, what do I want to achieve in 2026? So my goals for 2026 are to teach more. I want to be able to do more speaking engagements. And the biggest thing for me, I'm hitting that perimenopause age and I'm I don't want to lose bone. So I need to grow my muscles. So one of my biggest goals this year is to build strength, right? I am going to build strength so that I can continue to teach, to have the energy. I think what some of us don't realize, our muscles actually are our rechargeable batteries, right? So as we get older and we become more tired when there's more fatigue, we have less of a battery reserve. So it's really important that we keep our muscle strength up. Yeah, I'm saying I don't need to lose weights, but I need to build muscle. So I'm really excited about that. And again, aligning that with my value, if I want to continue to be an empowered speaker to be passionate, then I need to have the energy to do that. And so that's what's pulling me forward into 2026. So I'm really excited about this. So in our next episode, I'm gonna talk to you a little bit about the different pillars of health and how we can take those values and create a mini plan for the year ahead. So thank you for joining me this year. I'm very excited to be back. 2026 is gonna be an awesome year for all of us. So do your homework, come up with your values, and I promise you this life, this year, is gonna be one of your best yet. See you on the next episode, everybody. Huge thanks to you, our amazing listeners, for helping us climb into the top 5% of podcasts in the oral health space. With all the love and support, we've been getting many requests for one on one consultations. So we made it happen. Are you ready to take your oral health to the next level? Click the link in the show notes to book your personalized consultation and let's kick start your journey to a healthier, brighter smile starting today. We'll see you then.